Do You See What We See?

By Dan LaHood
Delivered December 16, 2006, at St. Martin's Church, Gaithersburg, Maryland

Editor's Note: Our friends Dan and Cubby LaHood have taken care of children with multiple handicaps in their own home for the past 24 years. Read Dan's insights on why it is so important to not only love and support handicapped children, but also to love and support their families.

Thanks for inviting me to Saint Martin's. This is the fourth year I've been given an opportunity to speak to you on behalf of the children of Saint Joseph's House. Saint Joseph's House is a Day Care and Respite care home for children with multiple handicaps. If you are interested in the nuts and bolts of Saint Joseph's House I invite you to take a look at our brochure.

As with any argument there are two sides and it is becoming clearer every day that the Life issue that seems the most consequential is whether the handicapped have a place in our society, in our culture. Medical science can now diagnose fetal anomalies within eight weeks of gestation. Largely unspoken is the fact that the procedure called partial-birth abortion is generally reserved for the late diagnosis of fetal anomalies. Eighty percent of children with Down Syndrome never draw a breath outside the womb.

What motivates these responses to the prospect of a handicapped child? Money, fear, societal pressure-all are contributory-but my wife and I have found that fear is the greatest motivation for ending the life of an unborn handicapped child. These fears are not irrational; they are largely justified on the part of expectant parents.

The handicapped child will encounter a world of subliminal or overt hostility where they are generally seen as a problem to be solved, rather than a person to be loved. The parents are acutely aware that socially they will be seen as pariahs. Old friends will be seen less often, if at all. Eighty-five percent of marriages where a disabled child is born will end in divorce. Parental abandonment, particularly on the part of the Father, will be common. Strains will develop in the extended family. Siblings of handicapped children will be ashamed to have friends to their house.

Until good people, loving people, generous people find new ways to welcome and strengthen these families, the situation we are in will not change. It will only grow worse. But if we love them as hard as we can-as hard as I can-fear and death will not, can not, have the last word.

For we, dwelling in darkness, have seen a great Light. Happy Christmas!